- Lee Stevens: Can you suggest any place for us to go?
- Waiter: Yes, sir. But we are not allowed to talk to customers that way.
- Glen Ritchie: In my opinion, if you have a one-legged butler and a pyromaniac for a cook, you're fortunate.
- Alice Todd: But darling, don't you want to protect your daughter?
- T. J. Todd: That's like protecting a killer shark from a sardine.
- Major Harriet Cromwell: The servants you get nowadays are frightful. Really, Ira, I should think you could have found someone better.
- Ira Cromwell: It's easy for you to criticize, Harriet. You spend all your day in the office. Never give a thought to what it takes to keep your house running smoothly.
- Ira Cromwell: [Lee has just told Cromwell that he and Jane are quitting their jobs] What will I tell the major?
- Lee Stevens: You can tell here that I've fallen in love with her and the only honorable thing for me to do is leave.
- Lee Stevens: I think it's only fair to tell you that the cook next door has her eye on me.
- Jane Rogers: Well, as long as we're being frank, I'd better tell you about the milkman. I can get all the whipping cream I want.
- Jane Ritchie: [Lee and Jane are about to sip champagne in the kitchen when Mrs. Ritchie enters] Jane Ritchie: Rogers, the guests are arriving. I imagine they might like some champagne too.
- Lee Stevens: Yes, madam.
- Hugo Farenhall: [Hugo Farenhall has come to the Ritchie house as a dinner guest, and finds his competitor serving as butler] Todd!
- T. J. Todd: Yes, sir.
- Hugo Farenhall: What are you up to?
- T. J. Todd: It's all very simple, Mr. Farenhall. I've figured it all out. That, with the high cost of living and the taxes, I can make more money as a butler than I could running a factory.
- Jane Ritchie: I'm afraid we'll have to go in. The cook wants to serve dinner now and we'd better let her have her way. That is, if we want any dinner.
- Glen Ritchie: [Lee bursts into the dinner party to tell Jane he got the contract. He rushes to her and they kiss as the dinner guests look astonished] I'm sorry, but with the servant situation as it is, we must allow them some privileges.
- Lee Stevens: Is Mr. Ritchie in?
- Jane Ritchie: No. No, he's not.
- Lee Stevens: Well, when will he be back?
- Jane Ritchie: Well, I don't know. He's gone to Hyde Park
- [President Roosevelt's home in New York]
- Jane Ritchie: . There's no telling when he'll be back. The last time he went for lunch, he flew to Africa.
