Don Ameche credited as playing...
John Hathaway
- Shelley Mason: [introducing himself to Julie] And I'm Shelley Mason, the most distinguished and hated critic in America. You may look, but you mustn't touch.
- Elliott Morgan: [to Shelley Mason] These are Professor and Mrs. Hathaway.
- Shelley Mason: Professor of what?
- John Hathaway: Psychology.
- Shelley Mason: I never use it, I live by instinct.
- John Hathaway: Obviously.
- [Shelley gives him a nod]
- Shelley Mason: [to Julie] At the moment it tells me that you're fascinated by me and want us to be alone.
- Julie Hathaway: You better switch to psychology.
- Shelley Mason: I adore difficult women. Come.
- John Hathaway: Go along with him, Julie. Might be fun.
- Julie Hathaway: Fun? For who?
- Shelley Mason: For me... and for you. A welcome relief from your husband.
- Julie Hathaway: I doubt it.
- [they start to walk away]
- Shelley Mason: I'm a dangerous and exciting man.
- Julie Hathaway: At your age?
- John Hathaway: [to "Rubber-Legs" Ryan] Love is an emotion common to all forms of animal and some of vegetable life. Orchids, catfish, and left tackles all feel love.
- John Hathaway: Where did I ever get the beautiful idea of wanting to marry you?
- Julie Hathaway: When did you ever get the idea that you got the idea of wanting to marry me?
- Julie Hathaway: [as they enter Elliott Morgan's with a big party underway] I never dreamed there were this many famous writers in the world.
- John Hathaway: There aren't.
- Rubber-legs Ryan: [in the middle of his makeup oral exam] Oh, do we have to go and do some more? I've got a headache.
- John Hathaway: Did somebody kick ya in the head?
- Rubber-legs Ryan: Naw, I got it from thinkin'. Thinkin' always give me a headache.
- John Hathaway: That's from using muscles you've never used before. We'll continue.
- Rubber-legs Ryan: Well, the dean said if I got a headaches we could stop.
- John Hathaway: What made the Dean suspect you might get a headache?
- Rubber-legs Ryan: Suspect? It was his idea.
- John Hathaway: We're looking for Elliott Morgan.
- Freddie Bond: Don't! You won't like hm. I'm his lawyer and I ought a know.
- Freddie Bond: [to Julie, tipsily] How do you do, I'm Freddie Bond, and you're one of the loveliest sights I've ever seen.
- John Hathaway: I'm John Hathaway and this is my wife.
- Freddie Bond: You never told me you were married.
- Julie Hathaway: Well, that's silly. I've never seen you before in my life.
- Elliott Morgan: Say, you've been very smug about your wife.
- John Hathaway: You know, Julie might do you a lot of good.
- Elliott Morgan: Why?
- John Hathaway: A good, solid failure would help you, but, I, I think Julie might do more than that.
- Elliott Morgan: Are you prescribing your wife for me?
- John Hathaway: That's the general idea.
- Dean Hutchinson: It's about Crazy-legs Ryan.
- John Hathaway: Rubber-legs Ryan.
- Dean Hutchinson: I was thinking of Crazy-legs Bilbo, uh, our great end. I was sorry to see him graduate.
- John Hathaway: He didn't. He just played three years and moved on.
- Dean Hutchinson: Hathaway, the trustees of this college are, um, how shall I say, practical men. Their interest in Crazy-legs... uh, Rubber-legs, is not the pedagogical one that we have. Uh, eh, it seems that they are determined to beat Laurel College this Saturday and, uh, therefore...
- John Hathaway: Shall I just change his mark to a passing grade or must we go through the formality of a reexamination?
- Dean Hutchinson: Professor Hathaway! Changing his mark would be cheating. Uh, uh, just what type of examination were you planning to give him?
- John Hathaway: Mmm, I imagine something in one syllable, no writing, and short.
- Julie Hathaway: John, so help me, if you read me anything about the clear eyed woman of today who lives in that book...
- [Julie grabs the manuscript from John and throws it on the floor]
- John Hathaway: That book can help a lot of people live happier lives.
- Julie Hathaway: Maybe in time we won't even have to try to live happier lives. And they'll just sit around and read the book to each other.
- Julie Hathaway: And let me tell you something else about that unforgivable crime called jealousy. I went out dancing with a man once and another man got fresh with me and the man I was with popped him right in the nose. And he didn't stop to think how long it had been since he had fought either, and maybe he wasn't intelligent but he was a man, and his name was Bob Jordan.
- John Hathaway: Who's Bob Jordan?
- Nellie Woods: And who wants to eliminate Jealousy?
- John Hathaway: Well, don't you?
- Nellie Woods: I love it. How could I know that I wanted a man if I didn't hate everybody else who wanted hm? W.. well, how could I be jealous if I couldn't be jealous?
- John Hathaway: Julie, grown-up intelligent men don't hit each other. In the first place, there are physical reasons. Only in the movies do men fight with the efficiency and stamina of heavyweight champions. In reality, Elliott and I are in no condition to fight. We haven't fought for years.
- Julie Hathaway: You exercise everything morning.
- John Hathaway: For health, not for fighting.
- John Hathaway: I'd gladly lay down my life for you, Julie - if it were necessary. However, hitting Elliott would not only be pointless, but it would be a violation of every principle that I have. It would be the most vicious expression of jealousy. You wouldn't want that, would you?
- Julie Hathaway: Yes, I would.
- John Hathaway: Besides, it wouldn't be fair to him.
- Julie Hathaway: I'm beginning to think I owe him an apology.
- John Hathaway: Nellie, don't you trust Elliott?
- Nellie Woods: Certainly not.
- John Hathaway: Well then, how can you marry a man you don't trust?
- Nellie Woods: I'd only marry a man I couldn't trust.
- John Hathaway: Where is your beard?
- Elliott Morgan: What?
- John Hathaway: What have you done with your beard?
- Elliott Morgan: My beard? Oh, I shaved it off.
- John Hathaway: Why?
- Elliott Morgan: I got burned.
- John Hathaway: Playing with fire no doubt.
- John Hathaway: You did it just to make me jealous.
- Julie Hathaway: That's right.
- John Hathaway: Then, why pick a man with a beard? You hate beards and you know I know it.
- Julie Hathaway: Miss Woods is in love with Mr. Morgan.
- John Hathaway: What makes you think so?
- Julie Hathaway: I don't think so, I know so. I feel it.
- John Hathaway: You don't feel these things - you figure them out.
- Julie Hathaway: You figure them out. I feel 'em.
- John Hathaway: [about the unusually dressed men in the office] Who... wh... what were they?
- Morgan's Receptionist: Oh, those are five convicts that escaped from Devil's Island. They wrote a bestseller for us, and now they're trying to figure a way to get back on the island, so they can write a sequel.
