- I'm a writer; I only care about what you write. I don't care about what you read. Everybody can read that can read.
- Winners are not allowed to allow losers to rewrite history.
- The fact of the matter is, what makes a great comedy special is, if a hundred people talk at the same time that you're talking, are you saying something different than them people are saying? Because if you are, then you deserve a special, and if you don't, then you're gonna find out you're not special.
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