Quotes

My fairy Godmother once asked me if I'd rather have a long penis or a long memory, and I forget what my answer was, but...

Oh, there's so much nudity on TV, I just sit there shaking my fist.

I was standing in the park today wondering; why does a Frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? And then, it hit me.

[back in Toronto] A guy I was on the elevator with turned to me and said, 'You a comedian?' I said, 'Yeah'. He said, 'Im a huge fan of yours'. I said, 'Oh, thanks!' And he said, 'What's your name again?' That just really sums it up.

[on relocating overseas from Toronto to London] As you well know, we don't have a star system in Canada for the arts, so all of us have to go further afield to find success. That's disappointing, but having said that, I'm grateful for the way it's turned out for me.