Quotes

It did feel like [I was the black sheep of the family]. Other children might have pouted, I rebelled. I started smoking early. When my parents found out, I was again in trouble. Then came the alcohol, then smoking weed. Everything within a short amount of time, without my parents really noticing. They worked a lot in order for us to lead a good life. At some point I mixed with the completely wrong sort of people, which was when I started the cocaine and the crack. Because of the drugs I was no longer able to keep to agreed commitments. Again, my parents didn't understand that, so there was even more trouble, to the point where I didn't come home again. Then I started taking more and more drugs in order to forget my pangs of conscience.

My troubles [as a youth] started when I was no longer a girl but becoming a woman. It started when I was 11, 12. As a child I was completely fixated on my dad. And he on me. But my physical development during puberty was too much for him. He could no longer hug me, no longer really look at me, and I felt rejected. I wasn't a typical girl, I played basketball, I sang in a rock band, I ripped my pants - that was all bad for him. Everything I did caused a negative reaction in him. Everything he said caused a negative reaction in me - until home was only ever about stress and drama. [And your mother couldn't do anything?] No. My parents have always rather been a unity. My brother belonged to it, too. I felt like the black sheep.

I was completely unprepared, overwhelmed with the work and the fame. I enjoyed being with the girls [No Angels], singing, recording, but it was more about keeping the media interested - there was always a camera in your face. And I had no time for my daughter.