Quotes

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes books.

All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints that a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.

Jerry [Kern] generally does the music first and I put words to it. If I write a lyric without having to fit it to a tune, I always make it too much like a set of light verse, much too regular in meter. I think you get the best results by giving the composer his head and having the lyricist follow him.

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed the short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

Whatever may be said of the Victorians, it is pretty generally admitted that few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, and indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy with the bacon.

I started violently, as if some unseen hand had goosed me.

[on the game of rugby] Each side is allowed to do things to its fellow-man which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.