Quotes

There is a school of thought that when you hit 40 you should have a perm and wear skirts two inches below the knee', she said. 'Bugger that! I'm not offending anyone. What is wrong with being a bit lively?'

[Struggling to hold back tears, introducing a series of episodes of Countdown shown as a tribute to Richard Whiteley who had just died] Hello Countdowners. I know we're all in a state of shock about the very sad news about Richard. And it's really odd to think that the man who's been here - the Mayor in the Chair - for twenty-three years won't be here any more. And we miss him and we know that you miss him because you've sent us lots and lots of messages - thousands of messages from around the world, and we thank you for that. And please keep them coming - they mean a lot to his family and to us. And the thing about Richard (well, there are many things about Richard) - he finished recording Countdown in the final of our fifty-third series and there are still five shows with The Boss in the chair that you haven't seen. And we know he would want you see them - in fact he would be very upset if you didn't see them - so please enjoy them and *please* laugh at his jokes. Enjoy this Countdown week. Please remember him as we remember him. [sobbing] And the clock stopped too soon.

Don't assume something about a place because it's at the bottom of the map.

[LBC, Rishi Sunak's Numeracy Announcement] There is no point in the World in me teaching you Trigonometry.

You're Nobody if you don't have a Podcast.

[on Britain's Conservative government, 2010-24]: A lying bunch of greedy, corrupt, destructive, hateful, divisive, gaslighting crooks.