- On performing improv theater: "I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do"
- I look like Walt Disney just threw up.
- I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
- What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.
- Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
- That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.
- On what insight has improv given him into society: I see the good side of people a lot and I believe in karma, that if you treat people right it's going to be good for you. And I raise my kids like that. I think that people are better than they think they are. They just get caught up in the way things are. There's a quality in people they don't always let out. They really are better than they think they are.
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