Quotes

We won't legalize marijuana in my country because we have Logic in my country: "We can't legalize marijuana, Greg, perish the thought! If we legalize marijuana... everyone will want to smoke it. With the Death Penalty, less people will Die. If everybody has a gun, we'll all be safe!"

I think it was Jesus, no I'm SURE it was Jesus who said: "Fuckin' faggots!"

Is there a legal drinking age in England? I was in a pub, and this foetus floating in a jar was drinking more than me.

People in England drink like someone is going to take it away from them.

I moved to England to be the best looking person for once. In America, it's "Oh my God, you look like Buddy Holly! You some kind of freak?" In England, it's "Oh my God, who is that? He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head! He can't be a member of the Royal Family!"

The guy who found that Stadium Bomb got a real taste of Southern Justice, didn't he? "Hey, I found the Bomb!" "You did it!" "No I didn't, I just found it!" "You knew where it was!"

The English love their dogs, clearly more than they love other people.

[Premiere of Pulp Fiction] So Quentin Tarantino, the Q, is there, and he's laughing at his own jokes, that he's written, he knows when they are coming, they're no surprise. And my wife, who is a genius, says "Did you see the size of his Ass?" [strangled scream] Citizens of Dinkytown! Run for your homes! [Pioneer Wagon Train Voice] It took four years to cross Quentin Tarantino's Ass...

There's no Rabies on this Island, or Healthcare, or Services on the Motorway...

Because this is LA! "Words? Hurting! Waiter, can I have a mirror to watch myself while I eat?"