- On reading manuscripts by unpublished writers: "If you want to send a manuscript, send it to an agent. And send a letter first, asking permission. Launch it into the real world of cold-blooded commercial response, not into the fantasyland of wishful thinking, cowardice and surrender to Resistance."
- On giving advice to young writers: "Three steps. First, take Robert McKee's three-day course: Story. He gives it in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Dallas, London, everywhere... Second, read my book, 'The War of Art.' Third, sit down and do it and don't quit no matter what. P.S. If you do Step Three, you can skip One and Two."
- The hardest thing about being a Doctor is keeping a straight face.
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