Quotes

Money couldn't buy friends but you got a better class of enemy. - Puckoon 1963

World peace could be a possibility...if it weren't for all those damned foreigners!

I don't mind dying - I just don't want to be there.

The fondest memory I have is not really of the Goons. It's of a girl called Julia with enormous breasts.

[on his 62nd birthday] Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

[on Rik Mayall and his kind of comedy] Rik Mayall is putrid. Absolutely vile. He thinks nose-picking is funny and farting and all that. He is the arsehole of British comedy.

[on Peter Sellers] I think his mother had gained such an incredible influence over him that he virtually abdicated his own rights to any individual personality. Finally, he had to invade other bodies to register at all. He had to inhabit, he was like a ghoul, he had to feast off somebody else! But he did it so well, it became an art. He was not a genius, Sellers, he was a freak.

[on Chris Evans] He is without any talent. All he can do is small talk. The smartest thing I ever heard him say was "good morning". The moment I saw him talking, I thought "you're an idiot". The best I can wish him is an early death.