- [from a letter to the producers of Only Fools and Horses] I understand that Lennard Pearce has died and without wishing to be disrespectful to his memory, if you were thinking of replacing him I would like to offer myself as his replacement.
- Even when I'm abroad people tell me what a smashing person Uncle Albert is. I know he's a skiver, but he's a lovable old skiver.
- I always said I wanted to do 40 years in a bank. A few years in a war. About 20 years as an actor. Five years to write a book, and then another 10 years as a painter. By the time that's all done I will be about 102. By then someone's sure to have discovered the elixir of life. And you know what? I'll be able to do it all over again.
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