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Joseph Heller

Quotes

Joseph Heller

  • Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
  • Every writer I know has trouble writing.
  • Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
  • [when asked what he does in his spare time] Nothing. Really, nothing. I have no hobbies, no recreations. I hate sports. I also hate gardening and walking. I don't go to movies or the theater or watch television. What I *do* like is lying down. My best thinking is done going into or coming out of naps.
  • The things I write about are funny only up to a point. Actually I am a very morbid, melancholy person. I'm preoccupied with death, disease and misfortune.
  • [on enjoying his time in the military] I was young, it was adventurous, there was much hoopla and glamour; in addition, and this too is hard to get across to college students today, for me and for most others, going into the army resulted immediately in a vast improvement in my standard of living.
  • Modesty remains my most flamboyant characteristic.
  • [asked why he waited thirteen years to publish his next novel after "Catch-22"]: I didn't have any ideas!

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