- "I'm not good enough to play for the Chicago Cubs, but I'm good enough to play for the World Champions." -- moments after helping the Arizona Diamondbacks beat the New York Yankees to win their first World Series; he had played his entire career with the Cubs.
- "That's our advantage. Teams come here and can't take their eyes off of all the breasts." -- referring to the bikinis worn by lady fans in the Diamondbacks's home, Bank One Ballpark.
- "This team makes your ulcers have a baby." -- after a 10th inning Cubs victory during a race for a playoff spot in the 1998 season.
- "He's too young and stupid to understand what he just did. He's just a baby. He's only 20, for crying out loud." -- on Cubs teammate Kerry Wood's 20 strikeout game 5 May 1998.
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