- If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle.
- If you don't like my book, write your own. If you don't think you can write a novel, that ought to tell you something. If you think you can, do. No excuses. If you still don't like my novels, find a book you do like. Life is too short to be miserable. If you like my novels, I commend your good taste.
- You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
- The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
- On experience: I believe the true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can.
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