Quotes

I saw Motörhead in New York earlier this year and they were great - Lemmy's just so fantastically pissed off all the time.

Being a metal fan, I've put in loads of references to metal bands into my shows over the years. I'm getting a band together to kind of 'metal up' a lot of songs - there's a Rammstein element creeping into my Kraftwerk numbers. Rammstein are just an angry Kraftwerk. Kraftwerk look like a bunch of regional managers of a carpet warehouse being asked to perform some computer functions.

I don't reject popular culture - I'm not the sort of grumpy old man who says: 'Well actually I switched off after 1982.' Good music is being made all the time; you just have to filter out the chaff. And there is a lot of chaff, unfortunately. The stuff I listen to doesn't get played on the radio. I really like the new Bon Iver album and I saw My Morning Jacket recently and they were great - languid and very soulful.

In the West End you can banter with the audience because it's more intimate. There's not much chance of intimacy with 60,000 people but there's much more call and response.

Most of the instruments I play are fairly low-tech - ouds and sitars and guitars and keyboards, I pretty much know my way around them. But I have no idea how the Tenori-on works. I'm slightly in awe of it. I like the fact it's an instrument but also kind of a video installation-cum-lighting effect. It's all manner of things - I'm a bit scared of it.

[on Phil Collins's "Another Day in Paradise"] Sanctimonious little tosser.

You know that band, U2, right? They've basically got this one sound, haven't they? The Edge - yeah, right. Without these effects, they're nothing, right? This is all effects. Even a troll-like figure could recreate them.

[on Chris De Burgh] The monobrowed purveyor of ultimate filth.

[on Chris De Burgh] The monobrowed, nanny-shagging toss-monger who's inflicted his sentimental mewlings on a reluctant nation!

[on Peter Gabriel] He is perhaps the most ambitious, influential and innovative musical wizard on the planet.

Ed Miliband is like a plastic bag caught in a tree. No one knows how he got up there and no one can be bothered to get him down.

I was christened Bill Bailey by one of my teachers. My real name's Mark. It came from that wartime song, 'Bill Bailey, Won't You Please Come Home?' None of the kids knew what he was on about, but it stuck.

I first grew a beard out of terror. About 20 years ago my friend and I were staying in a very heavy area off Times Square in New York. People would stick drugs in your pocket and then say you owed them money. We grew emergency beards and affected the hobo look to protect ourselves.

I feel really sorry for James Blunt. Because every morning, he has to wake up and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt.'

My dad was a doctor and he taught me patience. It sounds like a terrible pun - but it's true. He has an immense ability to listen.

I've got ham, but I'm not a hamster.

The thing about Cannabis Campaigners is that they're all on Cannabis, so they're like: "Oh yeah, it's medicinal, there are so many uses for hemp. Oh, look! A Squirrel!"

And before you could say "Homoerotic Subtext"...