Quotes

[explaining her "Gracie Allen" character] Gracie isn't really crazy. She makes sense in an illogical sort of way. She's off-center. Not quite right really, but nearly right.

[explaining her "Gracie Allen" character] Gracie thought she was terribly smart. Gracie's character was different. Gracie thought everybody was out of step but her. She was always helping people. She was always sorry for you. Like if she would say, "My sister got up in the middle of the night, she screamed, she looked down at her feet and they turned black". You would say to her, "What did she do?" She was sorry for you for asking that question. She thought you were pretty dumb not to know what to do if your feet turned black. "She took off her stocking and went to sleep again."

[explaining her "Gracie Allen" character] Gracie's the kind of girl who shortens the cord on the electric iron to save electricity.

[on George Burns] My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.

[In a campaign speech (1940) when she was running opposite FDR on the 'Surprise Party' ticket] As I look around me and see all all these trusting and believing faces shining up at me with love and respect, tears come into my eyes. And do you know why? My girdle is killing me.