Quotes

The worst thing in this business is to be thought of as a no-talent.

Never go for the punch line. There might be something funnier on the way.

I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny.

Hollywood never knew there was a Vietnam War until they made the movie.

During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.

Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.

Being on a sitcom stops me from getting Alzheimer's.

Anne is very forgiving. She doesn't care about money, being rich, or clothes. We never argued about finances.

Anne hated the idea of putting me down in front of the audience.

We managed to hang in there. Today when people get married there's a tendency to run away when things get tough. There is a lot of strength in hanging together.

Money is sensual.

It can make you sad to look at pictures from your youth. So there's a trick to it. The trick is not to look at the later pictures.

I've been around the block a lot and I've had a merry trail for 55 years.

I shave without using shaving cream.

I loved the idea of touching base with an audience.

I ask myself why I do it. Maybe it's to prove I'm still around. It takes a lot out of my body. I'm not an NBA player anymore. At my age, very few people can handle it.

Some of the routines come back very easily. We do it off the top of our heads.

My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they would stop fighting. I stole all their material.

[on meeting Anne Meara, his future wife] She seemed to sense I had no money, so she just ordered coffee. Then she took all the silverware. I picked up her cheque for ten cents and thought, "This is a girl I'd like to hang out with.".