Quotes

At The 57th Annual Golden Globe Awards (2000): "I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you."

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness.'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

[on celebrity golf fundraisers] I get asked to do a lot of these, and I can't do 'em all, but I do as many as I can, and especially the ones where there's a personal connection. And with this one, my wife is doing fine because of a lot of the people who are here today.

[on how he would choose to die] Sniper. A very good sniper. I don't want them to have to come down and check me out.

[on his early acting] Before 'Raymond,' I was fired from 'NewsRadio' and replaced by Joe Rogan. I somehow got through the audition process but when we got down to rehearsing, it was clear I was a little bit out of my element, and I got fired. So when 'Raymond' came about they said, 'We're going to get you an acting coach and work with you every week.' And for the first two years, I worked with Richard Marion who taught me so much.

[on if 'Everybody Loves Raymond' is autobiographical] It's not a documentary. Ray Barone is Ray Barone. It's me, but it's not me. It's the sitcom version of me.