- [a story he told fans each year at the Delaware County (OH) Fair Little Brown Jug Stakes for pacers, which as a devoted harness-racing fan he attended annually] I grew up in the city not far from a burlesque theater and my father cautioned me not to go there because I might see something I shouldn't see. So, of course, when I got old enough I went right in, and sure enough I saw something I shouldn't--my father!
- If it would sell tickets, I'd stand on my head in the middle of Times Square at noon.
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